I just heard an unconfirmed rumour that MCR will be coming to Singapore. Wow that really is some birthday present from Gerard. I celebrated Gerard's birthday on two days- one on April 8th and 9th, Aaaahh and I can see that Gerard really is happy. I can feel it. And um... someone apparently said that they don't like moi because I am a-and I quote, " wannabe emo'. let me get this straight, yea?

I am not a wannabe emo. I look emo most of the time bacause I don't travel in packs and I move about alone most of the time. I don't have a clique and I don't mind having one, it's just that it's easy for my friends to think I don't want them around because on bus rides, I ignore the friend sitting next to me (unless they really have something interesting to say) and just listen to my MP3. I guess I think a lot about my life, too. And I'm usually in my own imaginary world. So uh...I'm a teacher's enemy.

The only person who really understands this 'spacing out' thing I do is Siaw Ee. (: well DUH. Who else would enjoy making long walking trips with me to Parkway and enjoying the scenery at drains??? And who else would "observe moments of silence" while in the bus? Who else would share the same amount of creativity and imagination as I do?? And heaven help me, who else would sit on the TKGS swings with an MCR poster in front and pretend we are on a Ferris Wheel interviewing MCR???

HAHA. See Siaw ee I really praise you on my blog....you'd better do the same for yours. XD.

It's hard being Hanis. I really am very unpredictable. But there's one thing that you need to know: I don't have feelings. Seriously. I mean, yeah, happy, sad. But compassion? It's never existed in my life. I've never felt sorry for someone. Unless you're starving, dying or poor. Or MCR!!!But that's where I draw the line. please don't ever stop being my friend. I really appreciate it, I really do.

It's just that I'm so weird, people just avoid me. But it really is hard being me. You have to understand. I am an Islam in a world full of non-Islamic things and it really is difficult for people to accept me. You have to admit, everyone looks down on Muslims. Maybe not you, but evryone does. There is just so much temptation in this world that sometimes, as a teenage girl, it takes all my willpower to stay away from it. I know in the future that it will be hard for me to get a job, hard for me to create the right first impression on people. somehow people always connect arabs and muslims to the September 11 attacks. Look, killing isn't in our religion. If Saddam Hussein or some other freak murders people and claims they're Islam, forget them. They're not. That's just plain ruthless. Will continue this soon.... but understand my burden. I have to carry the image of Islam and there's such a dreary future for me, it's hard to not just give up the point of living.