God I hate myself.

Fine. You ppl say that I've only grown morbid this year, but in fact I've always been.

I'm a drama queen. I can be who I want to be. I go through phases. I used to go through a tomboy phase, a bitchy phase (it's not really a phase...haha), a smart phase (yes, I can be smart if I want to-that's why I don't really care much about my future exams), a dumb phase, and....uh.... others. Look. I'm just a girl trying to see where I stand. Where I belong. But sometimes, I try to be someone else, try too hard, in fact, just so someone will like me. I have to apologise. I wasn't myself last year. That's why all of you liked me. But I hated myself. Which is more important? You liking me, or me liking myself?

Don't be so selfish. I am who I am. I act differently around different people. It's just my way of staying on the social ladder. That's why I hate myself. I act every single day, I put on a fake smile every day, just to be accepted. IT SUCKS. I really appreciate the ppl who read my blog. It shows that they care. It tells me that they care enough to find out more about me. It shows that they are comfortable and open-minded about the things I say. For the rest...haha. HAH. Improve yourselves. Maybe you don't have time to read my blog. But as long as you have the heart, then you're cool.

I'd like to say I'm street-smart. I can survive on my own. Unlike most of you. Travelling in cliques and whatnot. I mean, if you do it out of friendship, then yeah. That's fine. But if you do it to feel important... then FUCK OUT.

I don't feel good about myself. I HATE MYSELF. I HATE THAT FUCKING PERSON I SEE THE MOMENT I WAKE UP AND LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

Is it because of TKGS? Is it?

Or is it just me?

Maybe it's me. There are so many ppl trying to pull me down this year...so many...

I'M JUST AFRAID I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.




If you love me, kill me.


Get this over and done with.